Originally Posted by Trejo (Post 5616185)

after a fair enough recent comment, with good intent taken, 'is there anything you (ie me) haven't had?'
and its not meant to sound like hypochondria, but i would like to just explain how complex my Borderline Personality Disorder is for both patient and therapist.
A serious mental illness affecting every aspect of life, moods and emotions.
factors leading to BPD can be complex, genetics, personality, experience of trauma and is 3 times more likely to occur in women.
BPD can be marked by
SELF HARM (as simple as bashing the head, punching my self in the face is my usual)
Difficulty relating to people
Feelings of insecurity
Responding EMOTIONALLY to certain TRIGGERS
Feeling OUT OF CONTROL and OVERWHELMED by emotions
DIFFICULTY expressing and experiencing anger
POOR sense of self
IMPULSIVENESS leading to drug/alcohol abuse or RECKLESS BEHAVIOUR
MOOD SWINGS
UNSTABLE RELATIONSHIPS and commitment issues
DISSOCIATION

the upper case parts, at least one if those symptons, are experienced everyday by me and getting a handle on it is very time and energy consuming for me and my circumstances as an individual assessment. there a LOT of variables and disorders steming from/to and individuals must learn and be guided professionally for any such hope of recovery,
i was taken away in an ambulance last night after agreeing with good police responsive actions understanding to my disorder (big call out thankyou officers) after a relapse in a irrational emotional response to a family member resulting in a suicidal remark heard by a caring neighbour, and for the first time, after all my years, a mental health professional suggested DBT Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, now during all that I've read and my attempts at Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, not once had i heard of this.... designed especially for my Disorder. so don't wait people for the world to help, go out there and do not take NO or I don't know for an answer, cause it got me nowhere and NOW WATCH OUT MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES BECAUSE HERE I COME AND I WILL BE HEARD TO BENEFIT OTHERS AND MAKE IT MORE AWARE TO THE BEST OF MY ABILTY, (unless of course i decided not to care ...disorder joke, i jest, tis what i do)

Originally Posted by 1TUFFUTE (Post 5616245)

Yes it was certainly 100% said with good intent...
And Isn't it nice when the police respect you and treat you accordingly, taking extenuating circumstances into account! They could have made last nite a living hell for you if they treated you like just another trouble maker!

And once again I take my hat off too you! Going thru what you do every day and still surviving to fight and pick yourself up everyday! As touched on earlier...I now insist:lol that what you go thru makes what I fight thru, feel a bit insignificant! (I know, not the thing to be laughing about but hey..)
Might look up that DBT...sounds interesting.

Originally Posted by Loud_Noises (Post 5617439)

It's not you mate, I reckon its a symptom of a societal problem; people weren't meant to be mindless drones driven by endless consumerism.

Find yourself, break out of the matrix and you'll be on the way to recovery. It's something I'm battling with as well.

Originally Posted by kaniSS (Post 5617434)

Been feeling really bad the last few days, keep thinking about if this is all my life is at, get up, work, come home, see kids for 1 hour, sleep, repeat.

I have a good wife and 2 sons and still not happy with anything, been actually thinking about checking myself into somewhere just to have a break from life.

This is terrible, feels like my head is going to explode.

Originally Posted by graphicgoose (Post 5617461)

I recently did similar, not checking myself in somewhere, but just took a swing off work and went to Broome by myself for 19 nights. Had my own villa with my own pool. Having my own space and doing my own thing for that time was just what I needed, really helped settle my head. I'd been in a troublesome long distance relationship that had started to push me into a bad headspace that I'd previously worked very hard to get out of so realised I needed to get out of the relationship and sort myself out again. So called things off, booked my trip and went and spent 3 weeks eating healthy, hitting the gym every day and getting my head right. Managed to do it without meds too, which I'm happy about. Even met a really cool chick up there, spent a couple of weekends together and had a lot of fun.

Back at work now, but in a much better headspace and feeling positive about life again. Sometimes it's important to do what YOU want and need, to break that cycle of feeling like you're just going through the motions.

Originally Posted by kaniSS (Post 5617458)

I try so many times, then I stop and think hang on a minute how am I going to support my kids..and repeat the process again and again. I come up with the weirdest things to get time off..and when I get a day off I feel normal again.

Originally Posted by Loud_Noises (Post 5617544)

If your kids are in private school, ask yourself if this is necessary.
If you're earning a packet to maintain an expensive lifestyle, ask yourself if it is necessary.
If you're constantly buying new things to fill a hole, ask why?

Just talk to yourself honestly.

Originally Posted by kaniSS (Post 5617475)

I would kill to do that right now. Just pack up and leave for a few weeks. Problem is getting time off. Boss is the biggest ******. I took Monday off as my old man is in hospital for breathing difficulties and **** me what a inconsiderate bastard he was. Ill have to tough it out I think till October and get my 10 year service then **** off..

Originally Posted by BLUEYBA (Post 5618014)

This is only a suggestion, if your boss is that bad as you doctor for a week off or more and get a doctors certificate. You're obviously run down and need a break.
Only a suggestion that might get you through till October

Originally Posted by Madaya (Post 5624401)

I'm going to duck along to AA for the first time tonight. Yeah, it's Good Friday, but I believe it is still on.
Have been using grog at the end of a day just to stop thinking, to zone out. Hell, I've been off the grog for 3 days now no problem, but dreams are nightmares. Not happy with that.
But one thing I think we can agree on, is that being an Alcoholic is more of a nightmare.

Originally Posted by 1TUFFUTE (Post 5624338)

^^^^mate I live on diazepam....Valium. Thank god I don't react to it like you did! I use it to survive my pain episodes as the rest of my pain meds are Slow Release, so I can get caught at very bad times occasionally!
I certainly am like you tho.....try my very hardest to take as little as possible. At one time the Valium was there just for the rare occasion! Now I've progressed well up the pain ladder! Does your head in trying to find good meds! I've also done a few trials and had not a lot of luck getting a better drug then what I use allready!

Originally Posted by Trejo (Post 5625454)

A big big B'day cheer to a Beast of a car driven by a Legend of a man.. you know who are if ya wanna share.. I just want to say that this person whom I have not yet met in person. Well the words of support n want of understanding my BPD via firstly this thread then private message to recent phone text . has been more than any of my family members could of dreamt up.
I feel privileged and are grateful for such people in this world. GTT Happy B'day... hip hip don't slip:notworthy

Originally Posted by Trejo (Post 5632892)

Well everyone hope you all are well to the best of abilities, I've had an I.E.D relapse on weekend, which i thought honestly had control over on my new meds but NO, it was out shopping pushing my mother in her wheelchair, simple cause, took mum to get shoes n 2 sales women chatting to each other, didn't even give us glance let alone ask if we needed help, well they and the rest of the mall found out that ths was unacceptable apparently as i dissociate and watch the embarrassment of irrational emotional reactive bombardment that ended with me sick as a dog in bed or last 3 days(longest it lasted in years) with 'black blood' this is how I've always described the after effect of such episode, flu like body aches attacking all my weak spots, brain, lungs, back, kidneys, knees and feet. I HAVD TO EXCEPT THAT PUBLIC CONTACT IS DEFINITELY HAS NO PART TO BE PLAYED IN THE REMAINDER OF MY LIFE. And that's hard to ponder when i thought i was getting better.
Keep well all

Originally Posted by Trejo (Post 5633499)

Hi to those that know n understand, GTT, SYZ, 1TUFFUTE, MAYDAYA and all, just hoping you all have support from at least 1 good person that can give you something, just a few words even, that will in anyway help you get THAT day over and done with and hope you are strong enough to fight the next..but don't do it alone when we out here will give an understanding ear without judgment of how small or simple it may seem.

Originally Posted by SYZ (Post 5633686)

G'day my friend. I'm sorry to hear about your little incident with your mum at the shops; I've been there and done that (similar) too... almost. Luckily my partner invariably goes shopping with me, and she always calms me down when my temper flares irrationally or I start abusing sales people. I've been known to bring an entire smaller shop to a standstill—which after the event is very embarrassing. However, after I've cooled down, I usually go back and apologise, and explain my mental situation. Having done that, I'm somewhat surprised that the sales staff are usually receptive, and interested to learn a bit about depressive illnesses, and then at least I can walk away feeling a bit better about the incident.

I do agree though that some salespeople are ignorant about what true customer service is. Too many are either insufficiently well trained for their job, don't care enough to extend themselves a bit, or are simply slackers picking up a pay cheque. And as an older bloke, I'm getting sick of telling younger shop or bank staff etc how to do their jobs properly.

—I guess I've turned into a grumpy old man?

image

—Not really. :lol

Originally Posted by 1TUFFUTE (Post 5636224)

Sorry to hear about your relapse Trejo bud...

Also Just another silly reminder for everyone...I know it's been said to death.....but I believe in it that much I feel it's worth bringing up again.....just in case some dismiss the thought without giving it a fair chance/thought first!

GET A PUPPY(or a rescue dog even):notworthy Perhaps any pet....
Now I realize not everyone is a dog person....but from what my dogs do for me(full in house/bed dogs) and from what I've seen them do for my aunt who has terminal cancer, for my mum thru her hardships(her cat), and others in different community things I've seen around over the years.......dogs, and other pets can be an AMAZING source of focus for trouble minds. They can love you back unconditionally and become better friends/companions then even parents can with children. I've seen, I believe it, I live it!
Anyway....I hope this thought comes across the right way.....in such a serious thread!

Originally Posted by kaniSS (Post 5617475)

Boss is the biggest ******. I took Monday off as my old man is in hospital for breathing difficulties and **** me what a inconsiderate bastard he was. Ill have to tough it out I think till October and get my 10 year service then **** off..